I don't know where this came from but I was thinking. There are 4 things that really scare me 1: Wakening up next to someone you truly love and finding out they passed away! 2: Wakening up in a hospital not knowing what happened, why you are there and how you got there! 3: Watching your parents / brother / sister or person that took care of you when you grew up die! 4: Dieing! The first 3 I've lived threw and as you can see I haven't died yet. Number 1 even to this day scares me the most, it has had an adverse effect on my personal life, as to me not giving my all to new relationships. It also makes me not want to start any new relationships or to try and to rekindle any past ones either. The relationships I have had when we would sleep together I basically never slept well, I would lie there and listen to the person breath and when I did fall asleep any odd noise would startle me awake. I would worry my self so much that I would do stupid thing to try and make myself not to love the other person and I still do this. The second one is number 2 ( OK I put them in order ) this has happened to me twice now. The first time was Aug. 26th 1986 16:37 ( both the clock on my motorcycle and my watch stopped at that time). I went to go visit a girl I was interested in dating I had rode my bike to her house in Rockledge Fl. I arrived at her house around 15:30 and she came to the door ( don't want to say her name I think to this day she believes that the accident was her fault) and told me that she couldn't let me in till her parents came home. So being the gentle man I am I went to get a burger and wait the hour to go see her and thats all I remember. The next thing that I remember was telling some one that I had to pee and that person was my brother (he is a male nurse), this I remember more like a dream. When I woke up my mouth was very dry and the room was freezing, I could sense more than anything that I wasn't alone. I did my best to call out and ask for a drink and they brought me a diet cola and I passed out. After they shot me up with epinephrin ( found out I was allergic to man made sweeteners at that point in time)I found out I was in the recovery room at Wuesthoff hospital in Rockledge. I passed back out and woke up in a room at this point the nurse told me that I had been in a accident. I called my parents and told them where I was and they told me they were on there way up and then ( at 3:30) I called my boss telling him I wasn't going to be at work in the morning. I was really scared it took me another day to totally comprehend what happened. The third I have lost both my parents. My mom first then a couple years later my dad passed away. Then in 2020 I reconected with my sister Mary she had just been released from the hospital after having a double brest masectomy. A few months later she collaped in the street and before she could get help passed away. I have another sister named Anderia and a brother Phillip. Neither of which I am in contact with. My beother took my parents homer and sold it out from under ther rest of the family so he basicly stole from all of us. My sister andria is married and lives in Ct. and again I don't have any contact with her.So this I have now lived threw and the last one you may never know when that happens.